So, Iapos;ve been so wrapped up in the fact that this girl (her name is Colleen by the way) doesnapos;t live close, that we donapos;t have a chance to try something, and that this is the normal way thing go. The thing that Iapos;ve been missing is this:
I felt (and still feel) something for someone.
Can you believe it??
For the first time since Emily and I were together, I honestly and completely feel something for another person. Iapos;m not faking, Iapos;m not apos;going through the motionsapos;, Iapos;m not even lying to myself about it... I genuinely feel something for this girl. A true and honest emotion from the hole in my chest where my heart used to be...
...is. Where my heart is. I have a heart and it feels emotion again.
Iapos;d like to tell her that, but Iapos;m pretty sure it would come off creepy.
At the same time it does mean something pretty special... I donapos;t know. To be completely honest we donapos;t really have anything. It was a 2 week encounter that has turned into apos;staying in touchapos;.. This might not be the woman of my dreams, she could just be the jumper cables for my heart, she could be my soul mate, I have no fucking clue.
I will say this:
I know my heart can feel again.
I donapos;t have to settle.
I just have to wait for a girl that stirs that part of me again... And I can stop worrying that it will never happen.
That much... That much right there is enough to help me sleep at night.
Iapos;m not afraid that Iapos;ll be alone because Iapos;m waiting for someone to see a side of me long since dead.
Itapos;s there... And itapos;s starting to reach out again.
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